Shipping policy

A.K.A. “When Will My Stuff Get Here?”

All products are made-to-order through our print-on-demand partner (Printful), which means each item is created fresh just for you. Kind of like a bakery… if the bakery printed sarcasm on hoodies instead of making croissants.

📦 Processing Time

• Most orders ship in 2–7 business days
• Times may vary during holidays, global chaos, and retrogrades (Mercury is ruthless)

🚚 Shipping Times

Shipping time depends on your location, postal service speed, and how much luck the universe decides you deserve this week. Average estimates:
• US: 3–5 business days
• Canada: 5–10 business days
• International: 7–20 business days

📍 Tracking

You’ll get a tracking email once your order ships. Use it to refresh obsessively every 10 minutes like the rest of us.

📬 Missing or Lost Packages

If your package is marked Delivered but you don’t see it:
• Check your mailbox, porch, neighbors, and the void
• If it's truly missing, contact your local carrier
• We can’t replace orders marked "Delivered," but lost-in-transit orders may qualify

🏠 Wrong Address

Entered the wrong address? It happens. If the order hasn’t shipped yet, email us ASAP.
If it already shipped:
• The order may return to the Printful facility
• You’ll need to pay for reshipment